What Every Mother Needs To Hear

Hello Beautiful Mama,

When I was pregnant with my first baby I was confident I would be the best mom I could be.

But shortly after coming home from the birthing center I discovered our little guy wasn’t particular to the novel idea of breastfeeding.

Cradle hold. Cross-cradle hold. Football hold. Front hold. Lying down. Sitting. Standing. No binky. Binky.

I tried it all. Then, I got mastitis (excruciating pain!)

I felt like a failure.

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March 9th, 2009

I cried.

I googled.

What was I doing wrong?

Lo and behold, everything turned out okay. After weeks of trying, I ended up exclusively pumping, and though I hated that machine, that same little guy is now a tall athletic 8-year-old kid with a never-ending appetite!

Granted, the Lord allowed me to nurse my next two babies with complete ease.

But mama, you know what I needed to hear at that moment (and still today)…?

That I was doing a good job.

That I was enough.  

Because you see, this mom-guilt / mom-fail is a rampant problem among mothers today.

It struck me shortly after I started making mama friends.

Here’s how it goes:

“You’re a great mom,” I tell her. And almost always the response is a sigh followed by something like:

“I don’t feel like I am. I need to be more patient. I need to take my kids to the library. I need to…”

You guys.

We are doing the most incredible, most important work on the planet and sometimes we are the most guilt-ridden humans around.

Why?

Because we are harsh on ourselves.

We have an unrealistic image of motherhood.

Because the media tells us to be a perfect parent.

Because we see too many mamas on social media who look like they have it all together.

Seriously. You don’t need to have polished floors and pressed pants on your children to be a good homemaker. You don’t have to homeschool your kids to be a wonderful mama.

Truth is, nobody has it perfectly together. That’s why we need a Savior.

There’s a lot that happens behind a picture. Always remember that.

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This morning I woke up to a crying toddler before I had a chance to take a shower.

A shower…what’s that?

In the few minutes that she was awake, I managed to burn the bacon (my last source of food before going to the grocery store). And then, as if I didn’t learn my lesson before, I handed her a drink in a nice porcelain cup.

As she threw the cup down the front porch stairs we were sitting on, I watched my beloved cup scatter into pieces.

I got this. I got this.

Or…the other day, after reminding my children that they need to ask for permission before getting anything from our pantry – a couple days after, I walk downstairs and find them happily snacking on something from the pantry.  (Right before dinner).

But wait for it.

The best part?

When I asked them what they forgot, they looked at me like I was from another planet.

Like I had horns on top of my head. 🙂

 

Coffee.

Jesus.

Coffee.

Jesus.

Every mama faces little moments like this. Nobody has a perfect life. Nobody has perfect children. Please write that on your heart forever and ever and never compare yourself to someone else and their pictures.

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On this upcoming Mother’s Day (and always) take a moment to make an intentional phone-call or mail a card to at least one mama in your life who’s in the throes of raising children. Tell her:

“You are doing a great job. You’re an amazing mother.” Find something you admire about her. Name a positive trait you see in her children.

Tell her she is enough. That her children love her not out of what she does (or doesn’t) but simply because she’s their mama.

I promise you, she needs to hear it. Even if she doesn’t tell you.

After all, our call and ministry of motherhood is not defined by our children and it doesn’t rest on instant results.

When Noah was building the ark it took him years and years. He was laughed at. Pointed fingers at. Scoffed. Even his family doubted him at times.

Yet, he kept picking that wood up, never giving up on the promise.

Hebrews 11:7 states, “By faith Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen, moved with godly fear, prepared an ark for the saving of his household, by which he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness which is according to faith.”

As mothers, we are building that ark. Raising up future men and women who will make a difference in the world despite everything our culture says. Sometimes our hands get weary and we need someone to come alongside and remind us of the prize.

So, keep going. Like the song…”Leave behind your regrets and mistakes.”

Keep re-filling that coffee pot and when you get a discouraging thought:

Take it captive. Like nobody’s business.

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.
{2 Corinthians 10:5}

You are not a failure. You have a gift. You are doing an incredible job and your children will rise up and call you blessed.

And lastly, don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh when you goof up.

Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also praises her. {Prov. 31.28}

josh-felise-38242From my heart to yours…Happy Mother’s Day. Blessings & love.

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