Misplaced Expectations

Hello Beautiful Momma,

As parents we all make mistakes.

Sometimes we’re impatient. Often demanding.

We might lack the wisdom on how to truly love our families the way God loves us.

Nobody is perfect.

Yet in our children’s eyes we are perfect.

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This weekend I was blessed by a message at church about parenting. There were many great things said but one thing I can’t stop thinking about is this:

The biggest mistake parents make, is misplacing their expectations. Placing their expectations in their children instead of God.”

 

Guilty.

 

I expect my children to be kind. I expect them to do their chores. Their homework. To use their manners. I expect them to have obedience. To honor their parents. Respect elders. To have listening ears. Gentle hands. Gentle mouths. To sit nicely. To fidget less.

But you see, somehow children never fail to fall short of these expectations.

We set expectations in our children and when they don’t rise up to them we get upset because our expectations weren’t met.

Yet nowhere in scripture are we instructed to set our hope in our children.

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In their future. In their success.

Our expectations should solely be grounded in God and His Word. 

For those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
{Isaiah 40.31}

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Of course we should train up our children. Disciple them. Teach them while they’re young.

And setting clear expectations is good too.

But our hope should not rest in the training itself.

Our children are not our redeemers. Nor is the need for them to perform.

Rather trust God to do the work in their lives through His mighty power.

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After all, He sees their entire future. The big picture. We only see what’s in front of us.

That’s pretty limiting; a wailing child who isn’t listening. A stubborn child.

God sees a future. A heart to cultivate. A gatherer of harvest.

Mama, this is why our expectations should ultimately rest in God alone. He will be sure to complete the work.

Let’s entrust our children to God. Keep training. Keep teaching. But ultimately set our expectations and hope upon the Father who is able to do all things.

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God. {Psalm 42.5}

Set your hope in God, which like faith, is a response to the goodness and grace of God.

I trust you, Lord, to work in the hearts of my children. I trust that you will raise them up to be a people after Your own heart.

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Grind their characters to mold yours. Their silly quirks. Personalities. Individual interests.

Create in them a heart in pursuit of you. Help us fix our eyes on the eternal.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” {Jeremiah 29.11}

 

Love & blessings to you…

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