What Happy Moms Aren’t Doing

Hello Beautiful Momma,

Have you ever wondered how some moms manage to always be so happy?

What are they doing? Or perhaps, the better question is…what are they not doing?

I believe the secret to their happiness are these simple habits:

  1. Happy moms aren’t criticizing other moms.

    They’re not consumed with how others are doing motherhood. Whether or not you are a stay-at-home mom or a career-woman. If you vaccinate or not. If your kids are well-mannered or not. If your kids can speak multiple languages. If you feed your kids organic vegetables or drive-thru food. They understand that every momma is doing the best that she can do. They know there are a million ways to be a good mom.

  2. Happy moms aren’t comparing themselves to other moms.

    They don’t take things at face-value on Instagram, Facebook, or frankly anywhere else. They understand that blogger-mom with perfectly lush locks is probably wearing hair-extensions. She has bad days too. Her house is not all that perfectly clean. They don’t compare their own life to other people’s lives. They are learning to be content with what they have. They have accepted their imperfections and understand that comparison is the thief of all joy, bringing discontentment. They know that happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to other people.

  3. Happy moms aren’t letting others dictate their parenting.

    They set their own standards. They don’t feel obligated to teach their kids French and the multiplication-table in pre-school. They don’t believe parenting looks one way. They don’t allow others to pressure them  into doing things that aren’t productive or in the best interest of their home. Grandparent’s and well-meaning family opinions included. They understand what’s important to them and have identified their own family values.

  4. Happy moms aren’t sulking in their problems.

    Sure, they have a bad day. They have problems to think about. But they learn to get back up, not dwelling in an ocean of self-pity. They see the problem but more so they also see the good in their life and choose to focus on that.

  5.  Happy moms aren’t allowing negative self-talk to seep into their mind.

    The  whole “I’m not a good mom” thing? Yeah. They don’t invite that in. Why? Because if their kids are fed and their kids are clothed, they are basically domestic ninjas. They don’t need convincing to know that. As for flaws? They see their freckles, birthmarks, wrinkles and their scars as a sign of life and authenticity. When they look at their stretch marks, they see their beautiful kids. Stripes that serve as a reminder that they had the privilege of bringing life into the world.

    Goodbye, negative self-talk.

  6. Happy moms allow spontaneity.

    They are busy, but never too busy to take their kids to the donut shop once in a blue moon. To make a U-turn and stop at the park. They focus on one thing at a time and leave the rest for another day. They have routine. But somewhere in between the cooking and the soap suds, they have a dance party in the kitchen.

    Spontaneity doesn’t always cost a lot.

  7. Happy moms aren’t chasing perfection.

    The only perfection they allow in their lives is God’s perfection through their imperfection. (Does that make sense)? They know that when they are weak, He is strong. They understand that nobody has a perfect life nor perfect children. Perfection is unattainable. In all of its form. Period. Forever and always.

    Need I say more?

  8. Happy moms aren’t beating themselves up for their own mistakes.

    They had a bad day. Missed their child’s dentist appointment. Forgot to pick something up at the store. Yelled at their kids. Apologized to their kids. Instead of wallowing in it they brush themselves off and try again tomorrow. They understand everyone makes mistakes and has struggles. Their mistakes don’t define who they are. Their shortcomings are an opportunity to grow. A reminder of their need for God. A daily dependence on Him.

  9. Happy moms aren’t spreading themselves as thin as butter.

    They don’t feel guilty for not signing up their kids to every extracurricular activity under the sky. They don’t feel guilty for saying no to an invitation. They are saving their best yes for what is most important. They know their limit and they don’t stretch it. They take time off for themselves even if it’s for just one hour: a bubble bath, a trip to the store by themselves, a pursuit of their own interests, maybe a weekend away with their spouse.

  10. Happy moms aren’t raising robots.

    They don’t hold their own children to a standard of utter perfection. They don’t snarl at their kids for not sitting still. For breathing. They understand that children cannot be programmed. There will be days when they misbehave, disengage and disappoint. They understand that children need grace and a reminder over and over again, and that’s perfectly okay.

 

When I see a happy mom I see courage.

 

Sacrifice.

 

Toughness.

 

Resiliency and strength to go on.

 

Life isn’t always flowers and sunshine, but I believe we all have a choice on how we are going to go through motherhood and the calling we have been given.

 

quino-al-105915The Clay In The Potter’s Hand: The shaping process is hard and long. Trials come to shape us. Our faith is stretched and tested. But in all the stretching, pulling and shaping – His one design is to make us into a vessel He can use for His glory.

 

Love & blessings!

 

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