Self-Care & Why Every Momma Needs it

Hello Beautiful Momma,

They say life with children is truly never dull…and the more kids we have, the merrier it gets!

Yet, somewhere in the midst of having babies, keeping them alive; fed, washed, clothed, schooled, disciplined, tucked-in, and juggling all of life’s other priorities – we lose the art of self-care.

Naturally, it escapes from us.

self-care n: The care of oneself.

Perhaps an unpopular topic amongst mommas.

After all, we’re supposed to work tirelessly. Selflessly. Without end.

Saved by dry shampoo and black coffee, right?iris-juana-114599

Yet…

Throughout my motherhood journey, I have learned that self-care is not selfish.

Self-care is essential. 

And here’s the golden nugget…

Ultimately, no matter how many cups of strong coffee we enjoy, bubble baths we take or how many friends we have…

true self-care can be unlocked only after we have first come to God and accepted healing, forgiveness and restoration for ourselves. 

The ocean of His grace.

For much like happiness, true self-care cannot always be bought, worn or traveled to.

So for me, something that has become really important in the motherhood grind, is my alone-time with Jesus every day.

I’m dependent on it.  

Staying focused on truth. Drowning out the noise of this world.

It doesn’t have to be elaborate.

Sometimes I listen to my Bible app aloud, or a good sermon from the Times Square Church podcast.

Since my kids are at the point where everyone sleeps through the night, my quiet time is early in the morning while they’re still in bed.

Usually, one out of the three littles joins me towards the end, pajama-clad & sleepy-eyed, but this is where my soul finds rest. A time to put Phillipians 4:6 into practice…

 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.

To allow my weakness to be made perfect in His grace. To let go of the pressure to perform.

My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. {2 Cor. 12.9}

Soul care.

The most important kind of self-care. A habit that can change your life.

When my heart is at peace my parenting reflects it.

After all, our home should be a sanctuary of all the beautiful things in our life. A place of refuge and safety. A place we seek to be in times of trouble. It’s where we find rest from the outside world.

Where we learn the true meaning of God’s eternal grace.

The second half of self-care, is learning to identify little stress triggers and taking time to eliminate and work through them.

No, not circumstantial things that may be out of our choice and control.

The small triggers that are often hidden but can make such a big impact on our day.

One of these triggers I recognized at one point, seemed so petty and small but when I addressed it I realized I was a much happier mom to be around.

It was clutter.

Specifically clutter on the dining table and kitchen counters.

Cluttered surface.

Somehow, everything that didn’t have a home ended up there.

I guess with five people living in the house, it’s bound to happen. Everyone is drawn to the kitchen and we walk past the dining table a lot.

I know. It seems like such a tiny thing, but once I realized that was contributing to feeling unknowingly grouchy, I began to view de-cluttered clean surfaces as a way to take care of myself emotionally and be a better mom.

As silly as it sounds, now I don’t go to bed unless my kitchen counters are cleared off and the house is picked-up. By doing so, I wake up to a house with visual peace that sets everyone up for a good attitude, including momma!

jazmin-quaynor-105210

Sometimes, it’s the little things.

As a mom, some other simple ways I also personally recharge…is by listening to worship music, making time for a cup of hot tea, and having a good chat with a trustworthy friend on the phone.

Little things that make me happy.

The joys of everyday life that don’t require much. It doesn’t have to be a grand trip to the spa or a vacation get-away.

With little ones around, it’s not always easy to make time for these things especially when there’s laundry to be done, but I believe self-care is ironically one of the most selfless things we can do as mothers for our children because it makes us more pleasant to be around.

Yes, even if you have to let your kids occasionally have some screen-time in order to do it. Take what you can get and let go of momma-guilt, because there is always a war between guilt and grace…and grace always wins. 😉

You see, if you are in a good place yourself, you will be much better-equipped to stay present with your children. To read them a book aloud. To watch them build imaginative creations.

To study their faces and truly relish the moments.

After all, your greatness is not what you have, it’s what you give. And you can’t give from an empty cistern.

Let us then, with confidence, draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. {Hebrews 4.16}

 

Love & Blessings…

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